Mr. Gladstone Built This City on Speed Humps

for I (the 'Poose) P

I am 1 single father.
My placenta dropped
and 1 word-
astronaut
boomeranged it to Greece
and back again
so here I sit,
tattooed across chest-
intestines divulge useful
pamphlets of opposites.
A helicopter is not
apple tree is not
candy on the way to, from and
hereafter your first
middle school dance.

"This is an adventure!"
declared Mr. Lipshits,
the unibrowed principal of
Rock and Roll Highschool.
(His secretary has a see through
blouse)- we are indeed
West of the Mississippi.

And so it goes
that the Gladiator Spuds
baseball team
went undefeated this year
causing stop signs to
twist around themselves
and Santas’ to desert
their reindeers for a Harley.

My placenta fell from the sky
on 1 Mr. Gladstone’s doorstep-
he, dressed in a full
leopard print pleather suit.
Mr. Gladstone announced
in his classroom-
"bridges are far too complex,
I will retire after the Science Fair."