Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pour Dr. Pepper on it to Prevent Pregnancy

title phrase by Alex Burford


Dr. Jeffery Kelly performs inventory on American
spermicide: a "blessing of wombs" as
they say in the high schools,
after which he plays ALL of
the Guns N' Roses albums while
dreaming of driving through
the "Southern" states again.

"Which ones" you ask...
the ones smelling of mint leaves,
a lighter scent of tea bags, places
where the buildings remind him
of boiling water and morality
is sketched across vending machines.

It's 4:35am: the 2nd week of
July and Dr. Kelly discovers the
solution to stretch marks:
-take an old-fashioned glass,
hyper-extended violets, 4 products
listed in "The Glossary of Nourishment"
and anything connected to a premature
birth.
Not only is this a helpful
home remedy but it is
one of his faves for washing
down memories of Cleveland
(AKA, a fine how-do-you-do to
gastrointestinal irritation).

"I got pregnant, that's why
I support Coca-Cola products" is
faintly tattooed to his left hip.